Did I mention I’m in a group of women studying Gretchen Rubin’s NYT #1 Bestseller The Happiness Project? Rubin tells us among other things, “Happy people generally…have better self-control, and are more tolerant of frustration than unhappy people.”
I considered myself a generally happy person. Until I fell. On Mother’s Day.
I had had an “aha” about happiness while my husband and I were enjoying a special breakfast he prepared that happy morning. I walked through the happy living room into our happy home office, grabbed my happy laptop and headed back to the dining room. I never made it. I apparently lost my happy balance and proceeded to take a nosedive on the living room (hardwood) floor.
In slow motion, I watched my laptop drop out of my left hand and onto the floor. I stretched my right arm out to break the fall, elbow cracking the computer screen as I hit the floor. My right arm bent in a different direction than the rest of my body.
Hearing the crash, the Mother’s Day breakfast chef came running. I’ll skip the parts about the excruciating pain, the hysterical sobbing (mine, not his), the expletives (mine again), the three hours at ARC’s after-hours clinic, the not-so-fun X-rays (“No, I can’t move it that way!”), the shot of Demerol followed by my pulse dropping as I lost consciousness, the quick-to-respond doctors, the IV, and the blood draining out of my husband’s face as he sat and watched the equivalent of a Grey’s Anatomy scene, helpless to do anything.
So much for any ahas about the Bluebird of Happiness. My happiness had been overrun by a herd of Crappy Pigeons (yes, herd; I live in Texas).
So what do you do?
Though energyless, what I did was to put one foot in front of the other each day that followed. Some days I took fewer steps than others, but I took them. And, I did not lose my sense of humor. Okay, maybe for a short time (a few days, perhaps…).
Oh, almost forgot. Curious about my Mother’s Day pre-fall happiness aha?
Happiness is not dependent on my situation or circumstances.
My circumstances do not preclude my happiness.
A major insight; obvious, but major.
So is there a way to prepare for frustration and have more self-control through being happy?
Gretchen Rubin says the answer is yes and I agree.
I’m in a state of healing now, appreciative of the forced call to slow down and let my body repair itself. I’m continuing the practice of learning to be happier in my ordinary life, but more importantly (for right now), learning to build happiness, step by step, one foot in front of the other in the context of a challenge.
I doubt I’ll need to break your arm to get my point across. Taking steps to be happy is worth the effort for both now and to prepare for future challenges.
After all, we all know a bluebird in the hand is worth more than those two+ pigeons in the bush…
Please feel free to share your comments or thoughts.
Here’s an Invitation:
If you’re in the Austin area and want to join us for a look at building happiness at the June Re-Story Circles, you’ll find more information at https://www.jeanneguy.com/re-story-circles/
Hope to see you either Monday, June 11 (South Austin) or Wednesday, June 13 (North Austin). One evening just for you, to take time to be in meaningful dialogue with yourself and with others. I hope you’ll decide to join us. I promise not to break your arm. Who knows, the Bluebird of Happiness may be awaiting you… https://www.jeanneguy.com/re-story-circles/
Great story! I had a similar fall several years ago. I feel your pain.
I broke my wrist and the bone was sticking out…the morphine finally helped…but it is now a great indicator of weather changes.
Heal fast.
Morphine? I didn’t get any morphine. But, I am glad to know that thanks to my fractured wing, I’ll be the first to know when I need an umbrella…
Sorry to miss your TWIB presentation Friday. I’ll be out of town but will be cheering you on from afar.
I am sending you rainbow bubbles of love and happiness. I see all filling you with healing and the wholeness you ARE. You are the best, dear Jeanne.
I love you!
Magdalaena
No one has ever sent me rainbow bubbles. I’ll take ’em.
Whoa! What is it about brakes. They slam to the floor when we least expect. Keep a light foot on the accelerator – at least for a while.
I’m thinking I need a few more sets of brakes, and just need to remember to tap them often but lightly. You’re right, Barbara, a light foot on the accelerator is a good plan. Thanks.
Oh Jeanne. What a story! How do these things happen and why? I tell you, you’ve put a whole new meaning to the old warning about household accidents! I thought for sure you were out in the wilderness blazing a new trail and fell over a log or something.
I’m just so sorry for what must seem like a bizzare experience! Love for you, N~
Actually, I was skydiving but didn’t think anyone would believe me…
Thank you for this post, jeanne! It helped me so much today. I’ve always considered myself a “happy” person and have taken pride in my Pollyanna approach to life’s vagaries. But my fall last Wednesday (5-30) on my way to San Francisco with my beautifully precious 22-yr-old granddaughter for her college graduation present undid my psyche and broke my spirit. Still laid up with back pain, I am struggling to understand “how, why, and why then?” Freud believed that “trauma requires regression in service of the ego,” and I am certainly shedding copius regressive tears and reverting to a child-like state of neediness, so I guess my ego will get what it needs. I hope we will be able to take our special trip another happy day in the future and that I will eventually be able to stand upright comfortably, but for now I take some small measure of happiness from the joy I had planning every leg of our celebratory excursion.
Thank you, and safe walking.
Judy Judy Judy!!! (what a great line) Thank you for your story. I’m sure what you’ve been through will ring true for many people. My heart goes out to you. If my arm were better, I’d give you a hug, too. This is one of those times there is a compelling argument for “a child-like state of neediness” – so let it be! But hold on to those small measures of happiness, too. They’ll serve your heart well as you heal. Again, thanks for your insightful sharing.
It’s impressive that you are typing……I hope this is an indicatioon that you are healing and in less pain. And remember that: “Happiness is a warm puppy”, or a sympathetic husband!
Penny
Thanks, Penny. I am typing – and healing! And with a whole lot less pain. I tried working on my laptop (with a secondary screen, of course) two days after the fall and was in excruciating pain that evening. I had no idea of the damage that had been done to my wrist. We left the next day for Whidbey Island off the coast of Seattle to house and dog-sit for our dear writer friends. My happiness was truly my sympathetic husband (who had to get me dressed, tie my shoes, pack and get us ready for the flight). Once on Whidbey, their wonderful corgi, lived up to her name: Grace.
Great story – as always. Where did you find the bluebird with a broken arm? If you drew it, you have yet another wonderful talent I didn’t know about. Too perfect! Love you.
Thanks, Ka. The story is mine but the drawing is not. Oh to be that talented. Full credit for the Bluebird drawing goes to Barbi Shone who is creatively improving my blogs with her artistic talents. Shoot, I bet she could even make a couple of crappy pigeons look good.
Next time you fall, use your wings to break the impact :>)
Ah, wings! Oh that I had them. Thanks again for the great artwork. Wings or no wings, your artwork really added to the blog.
You are most welcome for the bluebird of unhappiness.
I am going to have a vanilla latte in your honor and remember the morning the blood drained out of my face when you took a sudden downward trajectory and all hell broke loose.
Keep stepping sister, bluebirds and all.
Ha! That’s a morning I’ll never forget, you coming to my rescue after I decided to skip the last three steps coming downstairs from my office at Seton Cove. I lay there at the bottom of the stairs, having dropped my paperwork AND my coffee cup, and you kneeled down next to me and held my hand while we waited for the ambulance to arrive. You gave me a peck on the cheek before they carted me off and said you’d be thinking about me. I remember saying how sweet I thought that was. Your response was something like, “Girl, I don’t have a choice. My skirt has soaked up most of your coffee and I’m gonna smell like a vanilla latte the rest of the day.” Love ya Miss Beverly!
Hmmm….how come this story is somehow reminiscent of the Dick Van Dyke TV show. Remember how Dick always trips over a hassock in the opening sequence? (but sometimes he dodges it?)
Wonder Woman must be more careful how she steps and walks.
Hi Jeanne,
I hope that your pain is bearable by now, with or without drugs ! I also hope that Robert takes good care of you! John will call him with specific instructions.
Although I never broke a bone in my life, I had a doctor breaking my hip twice within 24 hours. I think this counts for some record! In the morning after the hip surgery, the doctor visits me and within few minutes he and I realized that my hip dislocated between the OR and my patient hospital room. I couldn’t have dislocated my hip during the night as I had an epidural and therefore not able to move my lower part of my body. So they brought in a portable x-ray machine and confirmed that my new hip was dislocated. That evening they took me back into the OR and re-did my hip one more time. Is not only that I survived, but my hip is doing just fine. Moving recently to Brooklyn, New York John and I are walking 2 miles a day and enjoy every minute of it. Much love and a speedy recovery, Kristina
You are my inspiration! Looking forward to seeing and walking with you both in New York. Much love, dear friend.